How GamePro TV Unfortunately Kept The 90s From Dying
As you may already know, I’m a huge fan of GamePro. But did you know there was a short-lived TV show based on the magazine? It makes sense. After all, video games really hit their stride during the 90s with the success of the Nintendo Entertainment System, and later the Super Nintendo and Sega Genesis. It was only a matter of time until producers realized the kind of television bounty they sat on. This discovery spurned the creation of another TV series, The People Who Get To Be On “Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous”.
You probably already know about the video game cartoons like the Super Mario Bros. Super Show and Captain N: The Game Master. However, there were also several live-action shows. Most were game shows (like the legendary Where In The World is Carmen Sandiego?) but GamePro TV stayed true to its original format, with all the features found in the original magazine. There was even an episode based on their spinoff magazine called “AdPro”, where they reviewed the commercials that had just aired.
Now, I’ll confess – I didn’t see this show growing up. I only discovered it through a bunch of episodes on YouTube. (I’ll link you at the end of the post.) Still, since GamePro TV embodies the cheesiness of the 90s, I figured I’d cover it. That love for nostalgia is why I’d be a horrible teacher. “Do your homework, and you’ll get an A. Bring me a Beast Wars toy, and you can move on to the third grade.”
By the way, I wasn’t kidding when I said GamePro TV was full of 90s cheese. Watch any of the episodes and you’ll feel like you were dragged back in time to put the 80s out of their misery. The sets are colorfully loud, borrowing design cues from Saved By The Bell, and the soundtrack consists of hardcore rock and techno “music”. But the final cement that holds GamePro TV firmly in 90s culture are the hosts themselves, J.D. Roth and Brennan Howard.
You know, I’m always amazed by how fashion quickly looks outdated and strange to modern eyes. Sure, this effect is far stronger when looking at clothing from the 50s, but even now, I’m sitting here in 20th century clothing wondering where the 90s went wrong. Just soak in those hip outfits. It’s remarkable how this was once considered to be cool, wasn’t it? What’s messed up is that in a hundred years, what I’m wearing now will be considered uncool. What a strange future that will be. No one will try anything that isn’t made from Taylor Swift’s old skin.
At least J.D. Roth could get away with dressing like that. Though his acting wasn’t particularly strong in this show, he’s still interesting to watch. And hey, he’s the guy behind other children’s game shows like Fun House and Masters of the Maze. Guess what? He also did the voice for Jonny Quest on The Real Adventures of Jonny Quest, another beloved 90s cartoon. With an impressive resume like that, it’s hard to find fault with the guy. I’d just wish he would get rid of his sink. After all, when I turn the Bible sideways and squint real hard, it clearly says that owning a sink makes you gay.
No, the real problem rests with Brennan. I theorize that, after being caught in a random dimensional influx, he was infused with the spiritual essence of Bill and Ted. It’s the only reason why he wears silly clothing, sports an electrified hairdo, and speaks in a “RADICAL” surfer dialect. This annoys me. Thanks to Brennan’s interference, GamePro TV will always be grounded in the 90s. And if GamePro keeps this up, it can just forget about going to the prom, too.
Actually, what’s strange about Brennan is that he eventually disappears from the show. Suddenly, J.D. Roth is flying solo, and it’s never explained why. What happened to the B-Man? I can only assume there was tension between Brennan and Roth. After all, the show is called “GamePRO”. That’s singular. J.D. Roth must have challenged Brennan to one final showdown for supremacy. Too bad no one remembers it. Probably because they fought on the exact same day as the Rapture, before it was cancelled due to lack of interest.
What’s interesting is that a few of the episodes hint at the conflict leading up to this final conflict. Just look at Brennan’s face when Roth yanks away a gaming device from him and shouts “Psyche!”
Damn, he looks INSULTED, doesn’t he? And he falls for the “psyche” TWICE. What kind of an asshole does Roth have to be to pull that on Brennan? Especially if Brennan can’t see it coming both times. It’s not fair if you pick on someone stupider than you, man. At least even up the odds first. How long do you think it’d take for you to get Alzheimer’s?
Who knows. Maybe Brennan was jealous of Roth’s magical powers. See, in the recurring segment called “SWAT” (Secret Weapons and Tactics) Roth kept jumping into video game worlds to introduce codes and strategies. I’ve only seen Brennan do it once – most of the time, Roth alone has that power. Could it be that Brennan left the show to gain his own video game powers so he could fight Roth? It would be a pretty radical battle, that’s for sure. Except for the one in my misprinted Bible. You know, the one where Micheal fistfights Judas?
Speaking of SWAT, video game strategies were the main focus of the show. In “Viewer SWAT”, you could send in a video of yourself giving tips for a game, and you could also send in a video asking a video game question for “Ask The Pros”. Of course, since GamePro TV didn’t last long, it’s hard to tell if these videos are fake or not. Many of them sound like they’re reading off scripts. I personally like the one guy in a football jersey who asks for help on John Madden Football – the dear air between his words are so huge that people could live in them on Mars.
There’s also quite a few kids in these videos. It makes more sense than a grown man playing Madden, but they sound fake too. I don’t care how talented your five year old is – we can probably tell when he’s acting. Hell, one kid said he was playing StarTropics, a game for the Nintendo Entertainment System that can get VERY tough. Do they expect us to believe second graders have the patience to stick with a game like that? Hell, I didn’t have the patience to wait for Santa. One year I even stayed up so I could give him a performance review. “Santa, I’m afraid you’ll have to speed up your output if you want to keep working for the Willard household.”
But the main appeal of GamePro TV, to me, are the previews and reviews. You didn’t see them often (usually only one game was reviewed per episode) but they still felt like reviews ripped straight from the magazine. The previews were also interesting to watch, and like I mentioned in my discussion of the GamePro magazine, it’s neat to look back now and see how a hyped game or console really fared. I gotta smirk at Brennan’s enthusiastic coverage of the Sega CD, because we all know what kind of knife in the heart that was to Sega.
GamePro TV only lasted for a year before it got shelved. It’s easy to see why. Despite how much I enjoy it, it’s still cheesy, low-budget fare. Then again, video game shows don’t normally hang around for long, do they? Hell, GamePro TV’s been reincarnated in a few different formats, and it always manages to get shut down fairly quickly. It’s a trend that needs to stop. If we can have a few consistent shows and specials about movies, why can’t we have more programming dedicated to video games? It wouldn’t be hard. Spike II used to do it all the time…you know, back when I used to call the channel G4.
Click here to watch some of the GamePro TV episodes online, uploaded by Nick Fricke of Siliconera.
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How can you not mention the righteous, 90’s defining gesture – the elbow touch and the ‘Sup’ that sounds like the two hosts are grabbing each others’ balls at the same time?
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Matt Willard Reply:
December 7th, 2009 at 5:33 PM
You’ve answered your own question.
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