Giant Robot Invasion! – Home of Comedy Writer Matt Willard

This week we’re taking a look at The Now Habit, a book by Neil Fiore on how to stop procrastination. I’ll admit that I used to have a problem with that. I used to put off so many things, and I the only reason I did that was to finish all the OTHER stuff I put off. I mean, my father threw a tantrum ten years ago and it took me that long to get all the soy sauce out of my hair.

Anyway, the book starts off by telling us why we procrastinate, and it says that procrastination helps us find relief from difficult work. Trust me, that’s true. The longer I put something off, the more afraid I get to finish it for good. Eventually I get so freaked out that I have to rebuild my confidence before I can get back into action. By the way, quick way to feel better about yourself – watch someone fail a driving exam. Your self-esteem will skyrocket.

The book also talks about how free time is a better way to motivate yourself to work instead of forcing yourself to do it, and that you should actually take time off more often to be more productive in the long run. Now, that might be true if you’ve got a BORING job, but if that’s the case, you should be more like me. I get paid to write humor for a living, and it’s the BEST job in the world. I have fun all the time. And I’ve learned a lot, too. For example, when you can’t sell any of your work and all you’ve got is ten bucks for food at the dollar store, just remember…you’re not buying food past its expiration date. You’re just buying food and eating it fashionably late.

Now, to help you take more time off, this book has a really good tool called an Unschedule. How that works is that the only thing you schedule is stuff like free time, chores, things like that. You leave everything else blank, but you color parts of it in whenever you do work. And that adds up. I tried it for a while and it felt really good to see all the work I did that week by looking at the spaces I colored in on my schedule. The only problem is that you have to draw up a new schedule every week. I don’t got time for that, I’ve got fart jokes to make, okay?

The book also covers how you talk to yourself. See, when we talk to ourselves using words like “I have to do this” or “I should do this”, it causes resentment, which makes us slack off. The book shows you about words you can use instead to make it easier. I needed this more than I thought, because I’ll agree with whatever my voice says. I love my voice. If it was real, I’d give it a half-naked nelson in a pigpen if I could.

But like I said, some of the self-talk exercises are helpful. I had a speech I was working on and I kept telling myself, “I have to work on my speech, I have to work on my speech.” But then I started using better self-talk, and I started telling myself things like, “I have to work on my speech…but I can’t play Mass Effect 2 until I beat the first.” And now I just finished Virmire, so it’s been really effective.

All in all, though, this is a good book. If you’ve read up on procrastination, you’ve seen some of these ideas before, but the book packs it all together in a usable way. If you’re just getting started at trying to improve your productivity, this book is a good place to begin. On the back, it says that it’s “simple, effective, and immediately useful”, and that quote is definitely true. In fact, I liked it so much that I wrote it down for future reference, under a little section I call “Quotes That Accurately Describe Me”.

Seriously, I’m working on some new stuff. In the meantime, I’ve set up an official Facebook page for Giant Robot Invasion! You can get there by clicking here, or by clicking the big, new Facebook button on the sidebar. Hope to see you there!

I may bitch on the Internet about a Sonic game I’ve never played, but is there something in Sonic and the Black Knight that can change my opinion? Find out in Today’s Really Kickass Moment!

The Complaineum has opened its doors for business! This label will be used for all of my videos about everyday life. In this episode, I talk about applying for college, which is apparently harder than training yourself to breathe in space.

2009 has been an interesting year. After all, I started Giant Robot Invasion in March, and the entire world was blessed by its presence. Now that 2010 looms on the horizon, I figure it’s a perfect time to look over the last seven months and choose the best posts of 2009. Of course, every post is great, but like Animal Farm, some posts are just more important than others.

Duke Nukem Is Mantacular – The always energetic Badass McKenzie reviews the original Duke Nukem trilogy. Why? Because failing to tell people just how great Duke Nukem is a crime punishable by EXPLOSION.

Fox Kids Club’s “Totally Kids” Magazine – The greatest Saturday morning cartoon block of the 90s needs a kickass magazine to go with it. Fortunately, Fox Kids didn’t drop the ball. Here’s an inside look at an issue of the Fox Kids Club’s epic mag.

The Berenstain Bear Scouts and the Sinister Smoke Ring, Part One and Part Two – A book so big that one post couldn’t contain it! Can the Bear Scouts defeat the evils of smoking? And while we’re at it, can they make sure all smokers look like complete jackasses? YOU be the judge!

Even MORE Messages From The Power Rangers – The Power Rangers public service announcements were all terrible, and this latest batch is no different. In fact, the only thing I learned from these is to promptly beat the crap out of anyone waltzing around wearing tie dye and a beret. Now I know what to look for…and knowledge is half the battle!

The Magic School Bus and the Wonderful Freakout – Join the weirdest class in the history of forever as they go on the most disturbing field trips known to man. Oh, sure, you may be concerned now, but at least they’re learning. Just look at these SAT scores!

Don’t Copy That Floppy Or We’ll Cut An Album, I Swear To God – SIIA’s infamous anti-piracy video is required viewing for any would-be software pirates. What better way to remove any silly morals about the practice than with the whitest black rapper this side of planet Earth? The sequel is also a great tool for those instant boosts of pirating motivation.

Friends Don’t Let Friends Watch The Windows 95 Video Guide – Windows 95 was a great operating system, but you’d never know that if you watched this painful promotional video. I’d say the famous guest stars redeemed it, but lying like that would be an insult to deception. Also in this article: big Russian guys!

Chex Quest: This Nostalgia Comes With A Free Game! (Seriously) – This was possibly the best cereal promotion ever concieved. Where’s that brilliant man who decided to release a modified version of Doom with Chex cereal? I want to give him a medal with a genie inside, and the genie is a girl genie with no shirt on. There, that’s like a free wish altogether.

The Bubsy Cartoon: What Can Possibly Go Right? – I can safely say that nothing went right in this abysmal cartoon based on an abysmal waste of pixels called Bubsy the Bobcat. If this was a school project, I’d give it a negative F, which is an F so powerful that the failing student is sucked inside into another dimension where everything is wrong. Coincidentally, this is a world Bubsy rules over.

Flint The Time Detective: Chris Hansen Needs To Tell Japan To Take A Seat – I try to forgive Japan for all of its faults, but this might be pushing it a bit too far. There is so much scandal in this article that it has to be neatly packed inside a moving truck, for fear that the scandal will roam free to attack celebrities everywhere. This CANNOT happen!

Here’s to a great 2010, everyone. See you next year!