Giant Robot Invasion’s Best Posts of 2009!
2009 has been an interesting year. After all, I started Giant Robot Invasion in March, and the entire world was blessed by its presence. Now that 2010 looms on the horizon, I figure it’s a perfect time to look over the last seven months and choose the best posts of 2009. Of course, every post is great, but like Animal Farm, some posts are just more important than others.
Duke Nukem Is Mantacular – The always energetic Badass McKenzie reviews the original Duke Nukem trilogy. Why? Because failing to tell people just how great Duke Nukem is a crime punishable by EXPLOSION.
Fox Kids Club’s “Totally Kids” Magazine – The greatest Saturday morning cartoon block of the 90s needs a kickass magazine to go with it. Fortunately, Fox Kids didn’t drop the ball. Here’s an inside look at an issue of the Fox Kids Club’s epic mag.
The Berenstain Bear Scouts and the Sinister Smoke Ring, Part One and Part Two – A book so big that one post couldn’t contain it! Can the Bear Scouts defeat the evils of smoking? And while we’re at it, can they make sure all smokers look like complete jackasses? YOU be the judge!
Even MORE Messages From The Power Rangers – The Power Rangers public service announcements were all terrible, and this latest batch is no different. In fact, the only thing I learned from these is to promptly beat the crap out of anyone waltzing around wearing tie dye and a beret. Now I know what to look for…and knowledge is half the battle!
The Magic School Bus and the Wonderful Freakout – Join the weirdest class in the history of forever as they go on the most disturbing field trips known to man. Oh, sure, you may be concerned now, but at least they’re learning. Just look at these SAT scores!
Don’t Copy That Floppy Or We’ll Cut An Album, I Swear To God – SIIA’s infamous anti-piracy video is required viewing for any would-be software pirates. What better way to remove any silly morals about the practice than with the whitest black rapper this side of planet Earth? The sequel is also a great tool for those instant boosts of pirating motivation.
Friends Don’t Let Friends Watch The Windows 95 Video Guide – Windows 95 was a great operating system, but you’d never know that if you watched this painful promotional video. I’d say the famous guest stars redeemed it, but lying like that would be an insult to deception. Also in this article: big Russian guys!
Chex Quest: This Nostalgia Comes With A Free Game! (Seriously) – This was possibly the best cereal promotion ever concieved. Where’s that brilliant man who decided to release a modified version of Doom with Chex cereal? I want to give him a medal with a genie inside, and the genie is a girl genie with no shirt on. There, that’s like a free wish altogether.
The Bubsy Cartoon: What Can Possibly Go Right? – I can safely say that nothing went right in this abysmal cartoon based on an abysmal waste of pixels called Bubsy the Bobcat. If this was a school project, I’d give it a negative F, which is an F so powerful that the failing student is sucked inside into another dimension where everything is wrong. Coincidentally, this is a world Bubsy rules over.
Flint The Time Detective: Chris Hansen Needs To Tell Japan To Take A Seat – I try to forgive Japan for all of its faults, but this might be pushing it a bit too far. There is so much scandal in this article that it has to be neatly packed inside a moving truck, for fear that the scandal will roam free to attack celebrities everywhere. This CANNOT happen!
Here’s to a great 2010, everyone. See you next year!